story for the kids

another shit story

today went to ikea to eat breakfast

i was alreayd half dead. couldn't sleep

tried to make myself tired by watchign movies till 3 rolled in bed for like two-three unsuccessful hours

so i went to eat like 2.95 breakfast with mum and dad at like 10

and tag a long with them for some shopping

which was ok sincei haven't done so for a while.

then while we're walking around , i feel this need to take a dump. but im like oh ok. not desperate atm, since i have a fair level of control. lol

so was at coles and i was like fucking lol shit attack. and so i walked tensely towards the toilet. it didn't help that my muscles were still sore from thursday training.

and i could feel it wasn't just a fart. if i unclenched anymore shit would really come out. so keeping my ass clenched i walked into the toilet which was conveniently right next to coles.

the inconvenience was the occupied cubicle and the alternative out-of-order one next to it. that was rather inconvenient.

Deciding that yeh I can hold out for a bit, I won't dirty the out-of-order one, i decided to wait. i don't think i've ever waited to take a shit in a public place. im pretty good with control. and coincidentally if i am needy, i don't need to wait. but here im thinking. oh my god. my ass was becoming really uncertain about its ability to hold in what wanted to come out.

then i started thinking. omg this guy in there. but then i had this mental battle with myself about me controlling this shit, and theres no need to panic, coz like this guy couldn't possibly know i needed to take a shit, should just let him be. well a lot of thoughts crossed my mind, even some scenarios. but i was certain that i would not need to use the out-of-order toilet, and i coudl clench some more. at this stage the clench was a full on clench, there was no longer internal forces holding the shit back, it was full on external ass muscles. i could feel it.

In the art of faeci secretion my ability to understand the internal properties of the particular batch is quite adept. But this was a weird one.

So anyway the guy walks out. some asian man with glasses, and im just thinking take your fucking sweet time. but decided not to flame him too much coz he coudlnt' have known i was on the verge of exploding. so in i go.

and boom release.

was good.

but felt weird.

details probalbly unecessary.

lol

but from those details i became confused.loll now in my head im thinking how interesting this topic woudl be to everone.

ok so anyway we then continued our way to another place. and i again needed to release an aftershock. my impatience has its side effects.

so the aftershock i decided to wait it out, but then it was just pscyhological which pisses me off, coz after the first release the feeling you have that theres more slowly disappears, and usually i acknoledge this and gtfo, but yeh i ended up playing quadrapop on my phone lol.

but yeh.

this was probalbly the most significant thing that happened to me today. thought i shoudl share it.

besides seeing a really decent checkout chick at ikea.

oh the moral of the story is. ikea food... think twice. personally i really think it was the ikea food.

actually it could've been the really shitty coffee that came with it. coz it basically hot milk and "coffee". and hot milk is my digestive arch-enemy. well you coudl say friend since it basically just comes out too fucking soon after in a very inconvenient form.